it can be such a long time and you'll think that you're over it but then you hear something or something happens and you realize that it still hurts. and you dont really get to do anything about it... man. i wish i was over it. it hurts tho. being left out. being neglected. being ignored & forgotten. makes me sad.

i think that's why i get really jazzed inside when i meet people who are hella nice, especially from the get-go, and they act like they've known you for awhile and it just makes everything all comfortable and humorous.

so i can be totally ok with going shopping by myself, by hanging out and vegging out and having a night in by myself, but... being around human beings can be nice too.

*update* peter jennings died tonight. 67. lung cancer. chrissy, pls stop smoking. it makes me sad bc he's one of those people that you're just hella used to seeing on tv regularly... and then now he's not there, he hasnt been there since april, since being diagnosed... did you know he only became a us citizen like, within the past five years? hes canadian. i always wanted to go into journalism, but i know i could never do what he did, travelling the world, setting examples, holding composure when terrible things are happening...

i miss you... a lot... more than i thought i would. i know that we're ok tho, and things will... well i dont really know. our situation makes me sad.

sorry if this post was somewhat depressing... if you want to know details, because im kind of vague, i suppose i could tell you, especially if i know that you care enough to ask. because a lot of people dont... care, or ask. so... yeah. goodnight.