hurting

so shia laboeuf or however you spell his name is on jay leno right now and he was all talking about having sex with the producer's daughter. dude, this is like from that one ren show... even stevens. he is louis stevens. louis stevens doesnt have sex! what is this... he's going to be in constantine.

but he's eighteen. and apparently having sex with a producer's daughter. he also lost a superbowl bet and had to paint his toenails and it looks like he got a pedicure bc it has the rhinestone flower on it too. it looks really nice, actually, if it didnt belong to a guy.

(hint hint someone!)

me & michael have a dinner & a movie date tomorrow. funn. hitch. pastepicking. i miss him. usually i get to see him on thursdays. it's now friday. you get the picture.

one of my biggest pet peeves are those movies that make babies talk and run around and save the world and shit. i think i feel the same way about pets doing things like that too. domesticated animals and babies are cute on their own. im sorry it just freaks me out when they're dancing or talking unnaturally or playing cards or whatever!!! baby geniuses and that son of the mask, i can SO do without. whose idea was that anyway? im going to write them a letter, a la white chicks. they make me wanna have a BF.

and now the cirque de soleil people are on. did i tell you the story of how my dad said i could never make it as a circus freak? i asked him one day what if i wanted to run away and become a circus freak. he said that they're competitive and other people would be better at it than i am. my own father said i couldnt make it in the circus freak business. he's probably right tho. man that breakdancer guy has really nice abs. anyway, i think i'd just like floating around on those swings in the air in some hot sparkly outfit. like in the aviator. im forgetting other movies that have them in there too.

so didnt want to see that picture of houston's gouged eye. thanks for telling me what it was or i might have accidentally followed that link. gross.

dizzy. contemplating waking up early to go to the gym. then i have to head downtown to get michael's valentine's presents, bc it's easier for me to get them today than on monday, and he's letting me give them early. holler. will he read this by then? hmm. i doubt it, he has class. ok. chocolate peanut clusters from see's & chocolate dipped strawberries from godiva. nothing big but i think he'll like it. shh dont tell him.

ok sleepy time. nite man.

my head hurts.

ive been really negative lately. it was partly because i was stressing out, but i think it's really because there are a lot of brats on tv lately. that super sweet sixteen shit is full of brats and their bratty parents. dont even tell me that it's about parents wanting to love their kids and show their appreciation or whatever. it's so not about that. these kids are so whiny too, it doesnt seem as if they're deserving. but it's not like mtv goes into their history. maybe they do good, maybe they volunteer... then again i doubt the kid who pops his collar who bragged about how much his car he rode in was or the chick who whines that dior is like closed are like that... they wouldnt be so exclusive with their guest list then, right, if they worked soup kitchens or raised money for the tsunami.

plus there are brats on supernanny. but they have yet to be molded into respectable individuals, so there's still hope. please dont let your kids speak to you or hit you like that. and please dont name your kid "hart". naming your kids after last names... not for me. we should all look at that book about what not to name your kid. your kid, as they said on the today show, has a hard time enough already, dont give them a name with weird spelling.

im really enjoying my gov't class. and im starting to speak now! and in our group time together, they made me talk because they said i talk well!! that gives me hope, bc im easily intimidated in my classes where the kids use words like exacerbated while adjusting their chanel sunglasses atop their perfectly dyed heads.

i sound judgemental. i know im too much for my own good. but in a way it's sorta good because people really surprise me when they seem like they're snobby or bratty but they're really really nice. i know that i was judged (and probably still am) because i just didnt talk... you learn something new every day.

giving up for lent... not buying things for myself that i really dont need (an effort to eliminate greed)... soda... & meat on fridays & tomorrow... and for meat, that includes anything that had eyes... so no seafood too...

on the go tomorrow. eight am mass, chinese politics class, DC info meeting, philo class, breathe! my pattern's becoming set, and if it wasnt for aunt flow visiting this week, it would have made me a teensy bit more active.

michael's coming on friday! yay for dinner & a movie. & he's visiting me on valentines day too... happy & grateful cause he's such a good guy.

listening to: you're all i need - mary j blige & method man
feels like today - rascal flatts
collide - howie day
nothin bout love makes sense - leann rimes

i admit it. i want an ipod. but there's no way it fits into my budget (which is set through summertime, set meaning DONT TOUCH) bc it looks like we might go back to the homeland. well i wont go back because ive actually never been. paying for my own plane fare tho. wont even get to see my tax return because of it!!

there's a chick in my gov't class who hella doesnt close her mouth when she yawns and she yawns a lot in that class. please teach your children to cover their mouth when they yawn and to cover their mouth when they cough or spread germies.

my head hurts. but i have to read about what happened to China after Mao died and how reforms were made since then to present time. sounding smart is nice.

michael i miss you. i know your schedule isnt like it was last time, but it's ok, we'll still see each other & be there for each other & all that good stuff. happy anniversary tomorrow... three years plus two months? what is that, 38 months? good stuff. you're my soft spot. thanks (now you're calling me) v. much for everything... even when we fight, i know it's all good stuff because we learn and listen and talk things through and keep things interesting... dont want to be boring and not fight (who does that?!?). you're my heart.