Hey. Emotionally spent, but... well I wouldn't be writing if it was that bad.

Thank you Michael. You've taught me so much... and even though I'm not the best at communication, believe me that you've been a great help for me in that area... I'm not giving up these past almost 34 months for anything. I love you.

Been wanting to blog but internet problems arose. What'd I want to share? That first impressions are dumb and you can always make judgements about people, but it's not always right. I'm glad that I was proven wrong, and that my belief that people are inherently good has been strengthened as a result. People are good. It's just sad that they kinda lack common sense half the time. Oh well, that's why people like Dr. Phil make a living... who by the way, could never beat Oprah.

I'm forgetting what else. My hell week is coming up. Not really. Monday: Media Test, Tuesday: Politics Quiz, Wednesday: Ethics draft 7-9 pages, Thursday: History Test. Nice. So I'm in the city all weekend. My parents are visiting tomorrow for lunch, and then Michael might stop by if he decides to go to Hot Import Daze for Dru. Michael spent the day with me today. We went culturing ourselves @ the Asian Art Museum, had lunch @ Happy Garden, watched Under the Tuscan Sun (we both have a thing for Italy now), got boba where the guy knew what our regular order was, took a nap, played some cards, worked through some issues. Eventful but... overall good day. Probably wouldn't change anything, though. I like my life too much to be living it with regrets.

Oh I'm a slave to the trend. I was having a shoe issue. Oh well. I think I'm one of those people who waits for things not to be trendy anymore and then decides to get into it. Like the Goodies song. I kept humming it. Cause on Wednesday she was on Regis & Kelly and the Kelly was booty shaking with the backup dancers and the chick was teaching Regis how to pop and lock. Oh well. Could have the shoe issue like STEPH! Thanks for the fashion show, man. Think of them as investments... three outfits or more = investment.

Thanks for the well wishing, Cha. Yeah, someone got held up by our baseball field a month ago. Yeah I looked at your stamp and I thought: My stamps are so much more kick ass. =) Just like a bestest friend in the universe should think.

Michael was watching the presidential debate and kept saying how Bush was pissing him off because he kept smirking and having these weird looks on his face every time Kerry spoke. I, who wasn't watching at the time, was just saying that Michael was being biased bc he doesn't like Bush & he's just looking for reasons not to like him. Cause Michael was saying it the same way he gets mad at other people for "looking at him weird" kind of thing. Then all the reports & responses noted the way that Bush made faces and how it reflected on him badly. That earned me a "Told you so" from Michael. POLAND! HOW COULD YOU FORGET POLAND? suckface. level 10. not really.

Goodnight all. If it's midterm time for yall, I pray for you. & if there's other stuff going on that's troubling you... things get better. promise. we live, we learn, and then we eat. that's the funn cycle of life. i heart you tricia.

Hey yo. Nothing much going on... more like thinking about the past and the future... and just plain dealing with stuff now. Nothing major.

Was almost planning on going to Hot Import Daze on Saturday to support Andrew, bc his car will be there... but maybe not anymore... besides, I feel inadequate in those situations because there's way too many mixed Asian chicks in teeny bikinis who make me feel too ashamed of the rice belly.

Ok... so a friendship from the past... didn't exactly end too well... more like misunderstandings and lack of communication cuts it off... when you see that person like a year later... what's the status quo? Is it okay to treat them like any other friend you haven't seen in a long time? Saying that whole "HEY!!!" thing... because I did that twice... and got a lukewarm response. In those cases... I figured the past is in the past... but I'm guessing they weren't feeling the same way. I don't think I can blame them tho... bc towards someone else, I would react in the same way... or not even acknowledge them at all... but then I react differently bc this friendship was like, fourteen years old, versus four years... it's a debater... I miss Deanna... she'd be able to talk to me about stuff like this objectively and actually give me a response... but then sometimes I think stuff like this shouldn't be talked about anymore bc it's high school stuff & I'm determined not to have high school drama after high school. Hence the hermityness.

But yeah... don't wanna be bitter... too much energy... like I look at people sometimes and I think that's not what I want to be... in all fairness, I look at people and think that's what I want to be, but a lot less than when I think I don't want to be like them... in the mean way, in the overprotectiveness way, in the rude way, in the spoiled brat way... but that's why you don't like people, because they represent everything you don't like in yourself... right? Or something like that.

I love free radio stations online.

PS Stephie... thanks for making me feel useful. Professional Dance Team for life. Stop messing with my roommate's mind... she's hella gullible! We talked about Tommy Payne's Common Sense in class, and my teacher drew a swastika on the chalkboard. I thought about you.

Cha... stalker... visit me & we can eat where i eat... no bon appetite ok... and dont get robbed/stabbed/purse snatched/attacked on campus. don't you love the private school life of crime?

Where is everybody else?? I miss people. Thanks Guna... I love you for staying in touch. I'm SO PROUD of you!! Go for those twelve months, girl.

Hey. I'm feeling moody... bored... there was another word but I forget what it is... when it comes to mind... oh yes. Deprived. I'm feeling deprived. Of what, who knows. I just feel empty right now. Not in the depressing sense... like I think I crave something... actually no scratch that, I don't crave anything. I'm just bored... and deprived...

In Vallejo right now doing nothing. Waiting for my dad to come home from his golf game so he can bring me back to my dorm. Then when I'm there it'll probably be reading to slow, sad music and ignoring my telephone... probably turning it off altogether. I'm in the mood for tuning out people... it's that kind of day.

Not going home next weekend. Too much upcoming crap and I don't feel like being overwhelmed with isht anytime soon, nor do I feel like being depressed with mediocre grades once again.

there used to be a time where people thought i was hella smart and hella upbeat and perky and isht. what i discovered is that when you choose to only let people know a certain side of you and hide all the other stuff... then of course, they're going to think that's all there is to you. not that that's a bad thing, but then all of these people are telling me that they've never seen me without a smile on my face and that i could get into berkeley (obviously this was all back in the day)... i guess that's what happens when you lay low.

i need a release. maybe gym tonight. walk around the campus when it's all dark. i did it last year... no reason to be afraid to do it this year. just suck it up.

sorry im a little of a downer today. it's a really BLAH mood. i'm feeling dissatisfied with things right now. with everyone... kind of everything too. just REALLY dissatisfied and unfulfilled and a little underappreciated. but then again, can't be appreciated if you don't do anything... but if you do and it goes unnoticed or taken for granted bc that's how you always are... well can't take anything back now... and you're not supposed to do things for the praise that should come after it. but then isnt that the point sometimes?

ugh.