Testing... I don't know if it went through... but food made me feel better...

I just ate. I feel better.

Ugh. I'm upset. For more than one reason. Don't you love how EVERYTHING goes wrong at the same time?

I'm being drama queen here. Not everything is going wrong. But I'm grumpy and hungry so you know you don't bother me during this time.

This doesn't make sense. I have nothing else to do. As usual. I'm getting tired of seeing the same things over and over again. I want to be with my cats.

I just found a cut on my shoulder. It's almost gone. I never knew it existed.

Boys are evil. All boys. All ages. Boys are evil.

Christopher Columbus started the racial lower class by creating slavery out of the Indians he found when he came here in 1492. He sold the women off to be raped. Pregnant women killed aborted their babies or killed them as they were being born to prevent them from the European evility, which included cutting off their hands if they couldn't find gold or give enough cotton.

Don't you love how EVERYONE will lie to you at least once in your lifetime, even if it's an inatimate textbook?

Man I totally want a package. =)


MAIL! I mean mail! I want mail... in the postal form... with a package of goodies... like 14kt earrings so I can change mine now, especially cause my first earlobe one on the left keeps getting crooked. Not straight.

Talking to Jami & Tricia online is funn. They make me smile with their nonsense that makes sense to me. They make me feel somewhat useful...

All My Children is so dramatic. I love how I get to watch it everyday.

I'm a woman of little words today. OH! I love how my politics teacher talked about watching TRL @ her gym and then she says how she wants to have MTV because she's dying to watch Newlyweds. Then I could hear the girls behind me debating whether or not Jessica is really that dumb.

Jami... this is for you...
Sean0924 (12:51:01 PM): if you see jami.....tell her i miss her
Sean0924 (12:51:05 PM): and to call me

MY boyfriend doesn't say that! I'm envious. But I'm still happy for them... & I'm quite happy in my own relationship, thankyouverymuch.

Oh! I had a dream where me & Michael split up when we were shopping at a Target type place and then when we met up, he brought the person who I'm not longer friends with... and I was mad... and then I woke up before I actually had to say anything to him, thankfully enough. Then you know how you wake up you're still trying to figure out if the dream is a dream or if it's what happened and so I was kind of mad at Michael as I woke up thinking, hey you know this person wasn't a very good friend to me so wtf are you doing??

The people who need to know know who it is. That's why I'm not naming names, anonymous. Yes... go boogers.

It's so much easier to think about high school when you're not in it.

baybejae 7 1 (8:34:53 PM): jengy you should be a teddy bear or candy... cuz you make me feel better
baybejae 7 1 (8:35:25 PM): you'd be one of those tiny bears tho.. cuz you're tiny... and i think you'd be perriwinkle.. just cuz... OOO you could be a teddy bear CANDY CONTAINER!
baybejae 7 1 (8:35:43 PM): like you could pop the head off and thered be chocolate in there

I miss Stef Droasty & how sophomore year we used to walk around campus before Spirit Squad practice and she would talk about how she could walk and talk and chew bubblegum and blow bubbles and do cartwheels all at once, thus demonstrating that she was not just a dumb blonde. I hope she becomes like a rocket cosmotologist scientists chick.

I miss how me & John would look over a balcony window after the first bell rung at the end of lunch before fifth period... at... things we ahem admired. =D Yes. We admired things. Haha... it was tradition! I like how mine turned out... I know his didn't... and I had two admirations at the time too! Sophomore year... again... "No, we're not going out" Haha

Who else?!? Me & Charliane doing dialogues with Aurelie. And then Julius would smell my perfume that smelled like grass (like, real grass, not marijuana grass) and he would say how much he liked the smell of freshly cut grass.

I saw Chiya the other day... Chiya who helped to bolster up my self-esteem in sophomore year... where people got to know me & didn't judge me & loved me as I was and helped me to identify myself and learn more about myself, despite the fact that older friends were pissed because they thought I had changed... Chiya & others helped me to realize that I liked myself & I had good reason to...

I miss sophomore year. Even tho a good chunk of it kind of sucked... but what goes on right now makes up for it... haha Michael, What do you want to make it even?? Do you want to see how it feels like? Then you can't complain anymore! Actually if we were being serious that would SO not be funny but yes. yes. I blog too much bye.

Someone seriously needs to get over himself... when we were in school you disrespected me in the name of fun... it was fucking harassment was what it was... so please, cry me a river, bulid me a bridge, and get over it! (quoted from TMF). Jeez, like all my moans and bitchings are about you... please. I may be an introvert who doesn't get out much but that doesn't mean I don't have a life!

It's irritating... cause it's like I'm trying to be guilted into something which is so not... necessary. Hard to believe that guys can be such drama queens, eh?

On lighter notes, me & Tricia need our own radio station... and they need to happen when we watch tv... so we can just talk about it a lot... yes... like we already do...

I have a book! That says our US History books lied to us! And left out a lot of stuff... Helen Keller supported the Communists! Ponce de Leon wasn't looking for the fountain of youth, he was gonna by him some slaves! We dropped more atomic bombs on Vietnam than any other in WWII, including Hiroshima! It's great... you gotta get this book... history is amazing... Lies My Teacher Told Me. Go get it!

Good luck on your chem test baby!

PS. Go read my AIM profile... it's humorous. To me. I realized how me & my sis have the same sense of humor, but we're like the only ones... haha, Des, I kept making all these jokes on the radio and no one was laughing!!! What's wrong with you people?

I hella want to say something but I know it's going to offend hella people probably... it can be considered that tough love shit, but then I know a lot of people are just going to think that I'm being judgemental and analytical and snobby and bitchy. I think that I'm just going to sound like my parents... you don't want to hear it but it's hella practical if you put your pride aside and think about it...

I'll make it more personal... so I know that I'm probably never going to skip a class here @ USF because it's a complete waste of money if I choose to do so. And my parents don't have that money to waste... so if my parents are going to spend how much to educate me and plan for my future, the least I can do is go to class and try my best.

I guess I don't really understand how people can skip class. Maybe if you're the one who's paying for your classes, it's your own money that you're wasting... but if your parents are paying? To me, that's disrespectful. & I know it's different bc community college, and you're paying something like $20 per unit (even tho if you're taking like 18 units that's like what, $360?)... & then I'm on a different field because I had to go to a liberal arts school... I mean had as in I had the chance to go to a cheaper school but having the parents who try to keep me happy and just wish for my success, I went here...

I guess it just shows the benefits about being an introvert... you don't have to put up with peoples' negativity... and in my peer group, a lot of peoples' opinions have no real factual... point. They just bitch and moan and complain and their reason is mostly "just because".

I know that a lot of people who read this, are, of course, in my peer group... I don't know. Sorry if I offended you. Really, this isn't meant to hurt peoples' feelings or to put anyone down, especially specifically anyone. It's just the way I feel... my opinion, which I'm entitled to. And everyone else is entitled to their own. But no harm was meant to be put on anyone in saying this.

I just keep thinking to the last time I exercised my opinion like this and someone just flipped out and took it HELLA personally and then started to attack my character in "revenge" in response to what I said. Even in that case, I didn't mean to personally hurt her or her character, & I apologized if that's the way she took it. Too bad she never apologized for what she said though.

It really shows something when you choose to cut off your friendship with someone and he doesn't even notice... it just proves what kind of friendship you had in the first place. It's disappointing that a 13 year relationship, including a year and a half of something more than friendship, comes down to practically nothing. If I go into more detail, then I should practically name names. Whatever, it's not like I ever see anyone anymore. & I've changed so much over time that the only people who know me these days are Michael and my family.

Does this sound like a pity party where I'm wallowing in my own sorrow? No... just had to get some things off my back. It's surprising I'm not more depressed or angry as I write this... just shows that I've developed a layer of apathy, for better or worse.

PS. I love my true friends, you know who you are...

PPS. Please pray for my "lil brother"... he wasn't able to play last weekend in the football game against Salesian because of his leg. I hope he'll be alright, especially for Homecoming.

I love how Michael posted pretty much the same thing on both his xanga site & our blogger site. Look... compare... laugh like I did. No guns to anyone's head! I did have to bug him about it a little bit tho.

I'm hella tired & I still have to write another paragraph or two to turn in before my nine thirty class tomorrow! Before my nine thirty class, not at nine thirty, but before it! Greatness... & my French test! Mon Dieu, je ne l'aime pas le francais, c'est barbant, est tres stupide. Apres je utilise mon ordinatur, je me lave mon figure et les mains et je me couche et je m'endorm. Yay! Tres bon. Not really.

UHHM. Michael's funny. So I call him after work on Saturday as I'm on my way out to dinner with my family and I ask him to come watch fireworks with me, because MW was having fireworks for Columbus Day weekend I guess? Yeah so we were in the car waiting for the fireworks and his clocks are weird so nine thirty comes and goes and Michael's all starting to say, "Jengy, are you sure you didn't lie about the fireworks to..." and he gets interrupted by a flash of light and a loud boom. HAHA. I'm all cracking up and saying, "To what??" and he's looking all bashful and laughing at himself and saying "To get me out..." =D So yeah, that's what he's referring to. We watched the fireworks... it was funn.

This weekend... I like how I can't really talk about work because of scary online stalkers who just don't know when to leave well enough alone... but my boss let me read this book that says how our high school history textbooks are all wrong because it's misinformed or it leaves a lot of stuff out and it's so great that Michael got it for me today. Along with a CD player. I like how when I started working I started to pay for my own stuff & he stopped buying me stuff & I'm used to that now but then he went and bought me hella stuff today and it felt weird!!

I'm sleepy and a little hyper still because Michael just left and he makes me happy and yeah we had funn watching Jerry McGuire & I love the 80s - 1989. =) Watching TV with Michael is funn. Doing a paper while Michael is observing the way I look really really mad when I do hw is not so funn.

Deeper stuff later. Hyper stuff now. My friend who shall remain nameless right now counts money three times to make sure he gets it right. I told him he had C.O.D. And he was all OCD? (Obsessive compulsive disorder). And I thought about it and said that I have dyslexia.

I have baklava. Does anyone know what that is????

When Michael goes to Las Vegas it means that we can't get married bc he's going to eff some stripper in a hotel room and then get an STD and I can't marry someone with an STD!

I'm sleepy. This is SO past my bedtime it's unheard of. UNHEARD OF.

I have what Jae calls "come and get me" boots. =) Watchoutnow.