i like how when i look @ my blog it doesn't show the last entry... it just shows the one on the fourteenth when i was quite the bitchy little girl...

so isnt it just great how whenever im feeling bitchy i want to post??... whatever, it's bc i dont really talk to anyone that i need to get this out... and i dont know sometimes it's just more comfortable this way...

here's to getting carpal tunnel syndrome. whoo hoo. actually i think i'm adapting to the idea... do i hope that i have it? somewhat. it'd be interesting. you know, like you know that one chick with the carpal tunnel syndrome? i dont know i guess im craving attention right now cause i know that i'm not getting any. i know that's terrible... and that i am getting attention but bc im not getting attention elsewhere, i overlook what i do have... i have to learn how to not do that...

i have issues letting go. but i want to let go. its hurting me a lot by not letting go. getting over it sounds so simple... but it's not...

happy birthday tomorrow berlinette! i know you'll never read this but you're one of my most favourite people @ work... i hope you know that, twin... thank you so much for being so welcoming & sharing & teaching me so much in such a short amount of time... i love berlinette... i wish there were more people like her...

uhhm... i missed tom today... hope that he enjoyed his day off...

if you couldnt tell im trying to focus on some positive notes...

im getting back in touch with an old friend... the kind of old friend who was close like eight years ago ish type thing but then we didnt really talk for the past four years & now we sort of do... online anyway... & i appreciate that... the fact that he ims first, that we can talk without issues issues.

uhm more later. must shower. quite sticky. not cute.

Harrow all. Shopping & cooking makes Jengy feel better... so does making up (making out?? haha same difference... jk! well sortof...) with Michael...

it was my second day off this week... so my mom tricked me & took me shopping and then the trick was that i was paying for all of my stuff... evil isnt she??... but yes... i actually bought jeans that weren't in the children's department... and then i also bought a pair that was... in the children's section, that is... size sixteen man... i need a belt...

okae what else... i made food for myself... & i think i want to do it again so imma bout to go downstairs & whip something up... im the strage child of God who likes vegetables... mmm... vegetables.

okae... i think that's it. now i feel full... even tho i know you cant eat enough vegetables, i know that its bad to eat when you're full already. why do i still want to eat something tho?... okae bye!

I hate feeling like this... just upset and depressed a lot... no reason not to... & the minimal good that does happen, it feels like there's too much negative to overpower anything. ugh.

i hate talking to people first. i figure, if they wanted to talk to me, they'd choose to talk to me first.

actually i'm just in a very unsocialble mood right now.

and to completely negate everything that I just said, a special thanks goes out to Marchessa, Jon, & John for just calling me tonight... cause @ first I thought I was being fake happy, cause you know when people call you out of the blue, you don't want the first thing for them to hear is your monotone bitch voice... but yeah, I was so good at being happy fake voice that it became real... & I'm happy that they took the time out of their lives to call me (unlike some people) cause it meant a lot to me that they could think of me, just for that minute or two.

Thanks you guys. Sorry if I was being fake at first, but you really did brighten up my day.

I will once again (or did I not do this?... just in my head? I don't remember) restate my irritation with underage drinking... I really believe that there are some people who drink just to say that they did... bc really, who else memorizes exactly what they drank... like the name, the brand, and how much of it... half a bottle, two shots, blah blah blah... boring. Is it supposed to prove something or mean something to whomever is listening/reading? If there's a point to it all, I missed it...

& then when they say that oh it just tastes like a peach milkshake or Sprite or gummy bears or blah blah blah... why don't they just eat that? It's like... you know if you drank four bottles of Sprite, you wouldn't be telling people about it cause people don't care... but if you say that you drank four bottles of Smirnoff Ice, and it shouldn't matter that you couldn't purchase it yourself cause it tastes like Sprite, it's supposed to be something different?

Yeah that's pet peeve of mine... I mean I know people can do whatever they want, and there's tons of people out there who drink just cause, or social drinking or whatever... & as long as you're not trying to impress me with that fact then more power to ya... but if you're just one of those people who mentally records exactly what you had just so you could tell other people... well yeah, why???

Yeah if this is a pet peeve, I know I'm in for a doozy come late August, eh? Oh well. It's not like I did it this past year, what makes next year any different?

I'm craving chow fun... but not from anywhere... I want my mom to make it... I know I'm SO going to miss home food when I'm away. Good night everyone!