the wonderful world of jengy

a little insight into the complex, iron deficient, teeny mind of mine

Name:
Location: San Francisco, California, United States

Friday, May 30, 2003

Hello all... Friday, today, I took the day off just so I could find Nemo... haha @ the very first showing with all of the children! Cause you know I don't see enough children on my daily adventures at Marine World... anyway so yeah, Roo requested that I take the whole day off of work so we could watch the movie then play... & then she decides to go home after the movie! So yeah... me & her found Nemo... man, that movie was EMOTIONAL! Haha... yes, I firmly believe that there were just some things that happened in that movie that shouldn't have!!! Not to say that it was a bad movie... just... emotional! Marlon went through SO much to find Nemo! SO MANY STRUGGLES! But yeah, it was funny... Crush is my new hero. I want to live to be 150 years old just like him!

Anyway yeah, so I kinna shortcutted my day... actually it went like go to Target, see Jennie & Christian there, buy some stuff, go to Jamba Juice, go to movies, then go home & greet relatives who are there for preparation for tomorrow's funn, then go out with Michael to Sunvalley to go activate a new phone for me. Yes, okay, so the skinny on that is that my boyfriend used to work for Circuit City, so he had this one phone from Sprint that he had discount on cause of his job, so for the past year he's been paying like seventeen dollars for 750 anytime & 750 nights & weekends for my funn lil flip phone that like, no one else had! So yes, the other day when I got off from work, I had a message that said that because Michael no longer works for Circuit City, we have to call to switch to a consumer plan or they're going to deactivate the service by the thirteenth of June. Haha, so yeah, we got myself a new phone of which I'm paying half (or more) for... because I'm slowly learning how to be an independent woman, but having the boyfriend who's like the best in the world makes that slightly difficult. My phone has color now... and right now... Michael's having a keen time learning the ins & outs of the phone & programming my phone book & ring tones and the shebang of it all.

So tomorrow I graduate. Now I'm going to ramble like I always do, and I know that most people just skim through the whole thing cause it's too long, so that's why I think that it's okay to talk about how I really feel here. That, and I can't seem to express it in any other way but by being silently pissed off.

Graduation. Swear that the word had like no meaning on me. I just... nothing seemed to sink in. I didn't feel it. It just felt like everyone was just making a big deal out of nothing... like it was supposed to be this big thing and there's all this hype around it when the reality SO doesn't live up to the expectations... and me being me, I always think that it's better to be depressed all the time, so that everything that's good that happens to you is a pleasant surprise. I didn't feel like getting my hopes up over nothing. I know that after graduation all these people who know & love me are coming over to my place to eat and celebrate this auspicious occasion... but then I also felt like it was more of for my parents than it actually was for me, and all the food that was going to be there, I don't even eat (I'm extremely picky)... and the whole thing just depressed me... and then isht went down @ baccalaureate mass... I just got all frustrated and pissed as usual... =/ I just felt like people suck. That was pretty much all there was to it....

Then tonite I read my yearbook. I read everyone's senior quotes... and what people put in my yearbook... and it started to have an effect on me... Cha saying how we're not going to see each other every day at school & whatnot... that's SO weird. I've seen Cha practically everyday of my educational career since like third or fourth grade. She's always just... around... being my bestest friend in the universe and everything... and not seeing her everyday?... That's just unfathomable to me... (yeah I know I'm pulling out the big guns with the vocab knowledge)... it makes me truly wish for the future to hold days of touring Chinatown & Japantown with her, catching up over Ha Gao & Ebi & tea.

& then Joe Castro... who practically made me cower in my ugly ass black platform shoes freshie year... to hugging me to happiness this year... he makes me feel better cause he lets me know that I made him feel better... that's what I always feel the best about... when people tell me that I've meant something to them... that way I know that my existance wasn't in vain and I did make a difference. Granted, it's not that whole changing the democracy system difference that I longterm aim for... but it's a difference nonetheless. Like that one time my lilbrother said "I love you ate..." to me... that practically made me cry too. Little things make up life. I live for little things. I am a little thing!

People almost made me cry... and if you know me, I'm not the type to cry at the occasions that you're supposed to cry at... I didn't cry at any of the Spirit Squad's senior nights... I didn't cry at my eighth grade graduation... so I don't think that I'm going to cry @ this graduation. I almost cried @ baccalaureate, but for a different reason, not for the sadness of the ending and the whatnot. So yeah, what everyone says about this being an important day and that it's the end or the beginning or whatever, that means kinna nothing to me... what does mean something is Cha craving Asian food, Joe hugs, Guna/Hub/O 4th periods, taking pictures of Celicas with roommate, feeding Chrissy & Charlene leftovers of my lunch, talking about WB shows with Tricia, driving over slow bumps with Jae, getting mad @ the eaters & the borrowers w/Deanna, putting my finger in Jon's ear, stealing Joe Ning's jewelry, screwing up Jeremy's eyebrows, smiling @ Nessa, and MUFFINS with Les, Gem, & V-Ron...

Much more later. Time to go to Safeway to do some cookin & shoppin for the boys... hasta pasta (roni)!

Hello all... Friday, today, I took the day off just so I could find Nemo... haha @ the very first showing with all of the children! Cause you know I don't see enough children on my daily adventures at Marine World... anyway so yeah, Roo requested that I take the whole day off of work so we could watch the movie then play... & then she decides to go home after the movie! So yeah... me & her found Nemo... man, that movie was EMOTIONAL! Haha... yes, I firmly believe that there were just some things that happened in that movie that shouldn't have!!! Not to say that it was a bad movie... just... emotional! Marlon went through SO much to find Nemo! SO MANY STRUGGLES! But yeah, it was funny... Crush is my new hero. I want to live to be 150 years old just like him!

Anyway yeah, so I kinna shortcutted my day... actually it went like go to Target, see Jennie & Christian there, buy some stuff, go to Jamba Juice, go to movies, then go home & greet relatives who are there for preparation for tomorrow's funn, then go out with Michael to Sunvalley to go activate a new phone for me. Yes, okay, so the skinny on that is that my boyfriend used to work for Circuit City, so he had this one phone from Sprint that he had discount on cause of his job, so for the past year he's been paying like seventeen dollars for 750 anytime & 750 nights & weekends for my funn lil flip phone that like, no one else had! So yes, the other day when I got off from work, I had a message that said that because Michael no longer works for Circuit City, we have to call to switch to a consumer plan or they're going to deactivate the service by the thirteenth of June. Haha, so yeah, we got myself a new phone of which I'm paying half (or more) for... because I'm slowly learning how to be an independent woman, but having the boyfriend who's like the best in the world makes that slightly difficult. My phone has color now... and right now... Michael's having a keen time learning the ins & outs of the phone & programming my phone book & ring tones and the shebang of it all.

So tomorrow I graduate. Now I'm going to ramble like I always do, and I know that most people just skim through the whole thing cause it's too long, so that's why I think that it's okay to talk about how I really feel here. That, and I can't seem to express it in any other way but by being silently pissed off.

Graduation. Swear that the word had like no meaning on me. I just...

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Harrow! So because of work there's just a bunch of things that I never knew I didn't like but now I know so this I will share with you...

- when people pick up things that aren't theirs... even when it's about to be...
- when people ask you the price of things when HEY it's right above my head, you've got eyes, go check it out for yourself!
- when people ask me where things are when LOOK there's a LAMENATED MAP OF THE PARK right next to me or behind me!

uhmmm... i think that's it right now... people need to stop asking me if they can get things for free or for a penny... it's funny how the people wear Tiffany's jewelry and hey so do I... I know that it's weird cause I've probably had a better life than most of them, what with the private school and the always stocked pantry and the Tiffany's jewelry presents from the sister & the best boyfriend in the world... yet I'm working and serving them! yeah... the things you do to pay for an education...

I think that's it... went to J's Garden today with Michael for Hong Kong chow mein... Guna, we still gotta go back to that one place so we can compare whose is better!... so is everyone MIA or is it just me? I'm always MIA... moreso than usual tho...

Tomorrow it's gonna be hectic. I've got work from ten to two... and then a hair appointment at two thirty... yeup it's all goin goin GONE... hopefullie... we'll see how short I feel like going... I'm layering again tho... hmm... and then I still need to find khaki or black skirt or pants for the mass tomorrow... remind me to ask Belle for the nude colored tank top!... I think that's it... okay then... mass tomorrow! Last PIM thang EVER... kinda weird... but then again I still don't believe I'm anywhere near graduating and changing my life and everything yet... no that's not happening... not now... am I in denial or do I just not believe it... a lil of both. okae bye!

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Yay more work... thus far I haven't encounted really rude people... some were sorta bitchy but none were really rude... so that's okay... so far... and no Michael, no one's tried to hit on me yet... & no one will so don't worry!!! Uhhhm I don't know what else to say... bc other than work, sleep, & dinners with Michael not much has been going on... family's going to be coming over... then my big grad shindig funn... no party favors tho I don't think, cause yeah, my sis was the one who was thinking about it & now i don't think she feels like putting in the effort for it all... but it's okae cause she bought me an Old Navy flag tank! =D I like clothes. I need a skirt for the mass on Thursday tho... I want a pedicure... yay pedicure. I want one... by Thursday. Okay no more BYE!

Monday, May 26, 2003

I like how Blogger decides to have issues whenever I have issues... that is, it never chooses to post the negative posts. Hmm. Well I'm not sure if this one will be negative or not... we'll see how it'll roll out.

So what have I been up to for the longest time? If you know me you'd never believe me when I say that I've been... WORKING!!! Haha, yes, I now work ever since manager John called me up and asked if I was still interested in working for Jay Vending @ Marine World (slave world indeed...)... but yeah, I need save up money NOW for school... if I want to go to USF, I'd better be hauling ass to make it worth it... that is, pay for whatever I can & get good grades there & not transfer... that's my parents' definition anyway. But I agree that I should pull my own weight here, so I'm going to try. Eight bucks an hour... I'll make more than my bf! =)

So yes, I had my first day of work EVER on the same day that I happened to start my PERIOD!!! Ain't that great?

This might be a rant due to the PMS... but negative people piss me off. Now I realize why I'm not too sad about graduating & people leaving... cause people were too negative to be around in the first place... so it's better that I'm not around people like that... & I shouldn't be around negative people bc it'll rub off & I don't want to be any more negative than I already am.

I was right about something I wish I wasn't right about. I told someone that they wouldn't be close to me this year because... well of something, I don't really want to say what. But I predicted that it would happen if she told me that it wouldn't... & of course it happened... & she acknowledged that it happened a few months ago and she seemed sad about it sort of... but not really... not enough to change anything about it definitely... and now it's like... it's hard to believe that we were close friends in the first place. That I told her things and I was able to talk to her... I'm so not able to talk to her now. It's not a comfy place to be. I regret that the friendship... disipated (sp?). But... I don't want to be her friend now. I wanted to be her friend then. I was her friend then. Things and people have changed... and I've adjusted to that.

Sadder but wiser. It makes sense now.

Happier note? I'm looking forward to Friday, Finding Nemo Day with Roo. Okay must go bye!