that sprint commercial where the two guys are dancing to salt n pepa "push it" makes me laugh & smile even when i was feeling like ass bc of a jerk. thank you myspace.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY CHARLIANE. i heart you bestest friend in the universe. i'll be sending you something soon. drink your water and pepcid ac.
did i say belle & i went to the kenny chesney concert? i missed carrie underwood as the opening act, but yeah, kenny's effin awesome. say what you will about country music, but they play their instruments, there's not so much of that dancing dancing that isnt so awesome (not as awesome as high school musical, anyways... and yes, im hella serious about that =) )... but yeah, these country people perform their asses off. i can't even explain how excited i am for rascal flatts, my favourite. wayyyy jazzed. jazz hands a la dane cook looking through the window jazzed.
i am a little bummed right now tho. and work just makes me really mentally tired, which is sad, cause this summer, i wanted to tackle the big bad lsat prep book. my dad asked me today what law schools back east i was thinking about. on father's day, my father insinuated about wanting me on the other side of the country. fantastic. that's not why i'm bummed, but i guess it could contribute if i felt like it... i always talked about applying eastwards for school, & i'll admit, i was in that phase where... where i was craving attention and, immaturely, i was feeling that if i was gone, on the other side of the country, people would miss me, and then i'd feel wanted, cause i wasnt feeling wanted at the time...
do i feel wanted now? more than i did back then, i'll admit that. ugh, now i have the butterflies in my stomach that i get whenever i think about law school and lsats and applying and getting in and moving far away for school... i really dont want to leave california, especially for school, cause all the schools i want to go to will help me prepare for the california bar test, which is the hardest in the country, tied with new york. if i passed it, i'd be kicking unknown ass...
i guess i know im smart, but i know that i am a limited smart. i know that i probably wouldnt get on jeopardy if i auditioned, as much as i heart that show and all of the trivia. i know that i'm never going to get straight A's, never going to get anything higher than a 3.6 out of college... i know that i will never be "the best". i know i can be my personal best, but i'm not competitive, and i don't care to be, really. i just want to do what i know im capable of. and i don't get myself down about not being the best or perfect or getting into a top fifty law school. it's just what it is.
i guess my being bummed out put me into a reflective mood where all of you intrusive people can read my mind tonight. that's ok; i think i know who reads this, and i don't mind you knowing. hell, i even know that some of you dont have the patience to read through my paragraphs, so this might just go right past you. whatevs (my sister hates it when i say that).
i know where i expect myself to fail... like, i know my shortcomings, and i'm okay with all of them. it is what it is. but when other people think they know my shortcomings... and they hold me to them no matter what... i hate that. i really do. i don't like being expected to fail. if i know im going to fail, i'm not even going to try. but if i'm going to try, i'd like to be given the chance with an open mind before anything else.
with the family... i can't win. i would have thought that what im doing at the end of the year would be cause for so much more... well, respect. but... my shortcomings are being focused upon and talked about instead. and that makes me feel like isht. i know that's how it is with filipino families, how you can do your best and get straight a's and nothing happens, but when it doesn't happen, best believe you'll hear hell about it. it's a no win situation. i'm not saying they have to mention it all the time or brag about it to their friends or whatever, but just seriously, cut me some effing slack. i'm working my ass off here, and i wish i didnt feel like it was just for me.
dude, people who get skin cancer and still stay out in the sun are hella stupid. it's like people who get std's and still sleep around without some glovin'. whats up...
=( goodnight.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY CHARLIANE. i heart you bestest friend in the universe. i'll be sending you something soon. drink your water and pepcid ac.
did i say belle & i went to the kenny chesney concert? i missed carrie underwood as the opening act, but yeah, kenny's effin awesome. say what you will about country music, but they play their instruments, there's not so much of that dancing dancing that isnt so awesome (not as awesome as high school musical, anyways... and yes, im hella serious about that =) )... but yeah, these country people perform their asses off. i can't even explain how excited i am for rascal flatts, my favourite. wayyyy jazzed. jazz hands a la dane cook looking through the window jazzed.
i am a little bummed right now tho. and work just makes me really mentally tired, which is sad, cause this summer, i wanted to tackle the big bad lsat prep book. my dad asked me today what law schools back east i was thinking about. on father's day, my father insinuated about wanting me on the other side of the country. fantastic. that's not why i'm bummed, but i guess it could contribute if i felt like it... i always talked about applying eastwards for school, & i'll admit, i was in that phase where... where i was craving attention and, immaturely, i was feeling that if i was gone, on the other side of the country, people would miss me, and then i'd feel wanted, cause i wasnt feeling wanted at the time...
do i feel wanted now? more than i did back then, i'll admit that. ugh, now i have the butterflies in my stomach that i get whenever i think about law school and lsats and applying and getting in and moving far away for school... i really dont want to leave california, especially for school, cause all the schools i want to go to will help me prepare for the california bar test, which is the hardest in the country, tied with new york. if i passed it, i'd be kicking unknown ass...
i guess i know im smart, but i know that i am a limited smart. i know that i probably wouldnt get on jeopardy if i auditioned, as much as i heart that show and all of the trivia. i know that i'm never going to get straight A's, never going to get anything higher than a 3.6 out of college... i know that i will never be "the best". i know i can be my personal best, but i'm not competitive, and i don't care to be, really. i just want to do what i know im capable of. and i don't get myself down about not being the best or perfect or getting into a top fifty law school. it's just what it is.
i guess my being bummed out put me into a reflective mood where all of you intrusive people can read my mind tonight. that's ok; i think i know who reads this, and i don't mind you knowing. hell, i even know that some of you dont have the patience to read through my paragraphs, so this might just go right past you. whatevs (my sister hates it when i say that).
i know where i expect myself to fail... like, i know my shortcomings, and i'm okay with all of them. it is what it is. but when other people think they know my shortcomings... and they hold me to them no matter what... i hate that. i really do. i don't like being expected to fail. if i know im going to fail, i'm not even going to try. but if i'm going to try, i'd like to be given the chance with an open mind before anything else.
with the family... i can't win. i would have thought that what im doing at the end of the year would be cause for so much more... well, respect. but... my shortcomings are being focused upon and talked about instead. and that makes me feel like isht. i know that's how it is with filipino families, how you can do your best and get straight a's and nothing happens, but when it doesn't happen, best believe you'll hear hell about it. it's a no win situation. i'm not saying they have to mention it all the time or brag about it to their friends or whatever, but just seriously, cut me some effing slack. i'm working my ass off here, and i wish i didnt feel like it was just for me.
dude, people who get skin cancer and still stay out in the sun are hella stupid. it's like people who get std's and still sleep around without some glovin'. whats up...
=( goodnight.