Things have been hard lately, & I haven't had anyone to share it with lately bc the people that I usually confide in are away on vacation. It's so much harder to keep this all to myself... & it isn't really the same when I tell them on the phone. In this sense, I don't mind that school starts in a couple of days bc I can get lost in everything again & the only things I'll worry about is printing my essays before third period & if Owen & Hub will be around to protect me during fourth from the EVIL BORE.

Which is worse... running away from what bothers you or putting yourself in situation that will probably make you uncomfortable on a very important night where nothing should go wrong?

Ewok scratched my arm. Ouch.

Everything depresses me now. What gets me through it are Thursday nights,& knowing that come late August, I'm going to be in a new environment, one where what bothers me now can't bother me anymore. & if it does, I can spend all hours @ the USF gym, on the treadmill, figuratively running away from it all.

I'm both extremely excited & extremely fearful of prom. Stupid pressures.

A friend is choosing his gf over his friends. I tell him how this upsets his friends. He says it's hard when everyone hates her. Should I still try to make peace when on her website, she curses all of the people "who make her life so hard"? Excuse me for wanting a friend to have more than a one dimensional life that consists of bitching about school & hanging out with his gf. To my knowledge, before her, he had this great group of friends who adored him. Why anyone would choose a bitchy gf over friends who adore you is beyond me. I wish someone would explain it to me.

Don't see Better Luck Tomorrow. Go see Bend It Like Beckham. May 2nd I'm looking forward to... hopefully double date w/the Shargh couple for Lizzie. That's the punishment the boyfriend receives for taking me to go see Boat Trip. May that be a lesson to him.

Anyone who doesnt have one for themselves, come to my place for a grad party after the ceremony! May 31st... when my family decides to get me drunk with 2ft bottles of wine that they save for this very occasion. No, I'm not kidding...

It's cold. & lunchtime... my sis is ending her spring break here with a lunchtime outing. Wonder where we're going...

Hello again... cha praised the use of a non-xanga site. Inspired me just a lil... @ first I felt uncomfortable about talking about myself & my days & whatnot... but I think that i just have the mindset that no one actually reads this, so with this justificatin I go on.

I'm sad. There's so many days left of high school... & it feels like I have zero social life. This might be my own fault... seeing as I'm an indoors person who just likes to sit on the couch & veg out with her cats on weekends... but I do wonder what would happen if people actually asked me to go out with them. Would I? & what prevents them from asking me to go out & do something in the first place? I know I got all isolation booth type person in the beginning of the year... I think that this has permanently damaged my social life. Am I complaining? I'm not really in a way cause I'm happy with vegging out & staying in... but then I see the funn others have & the exclusion & just being on the inside looking out makes me feel... like I'm missing something. But being ignorant doesn't make me feel that way. I shouldn't want to change myself if I'm happy with the way I am... & as long as I stop comparing myself to other people I can do that...

IM GOING TO USF! I was positively giddy when I found out. My parents didn't actually tell me, they just tell me we're going to the school not to look around, but to drop off forms. DROP OFF FORMS MEANS REGISTRATION! Every time we start talking about the money though I get sad. But I'm ever so grateful to my parents for letting me go where I want to go, & not forcing me to go to a school that's supposed to be better but just doesn't suit... have funn @ Davis, Sean, Drea, Droasty, Ryan (Chuy! =D ), & Jason... I'm sorry Jason! You can still drive me aound tho!...

My parents & my sis & me (I) ate @ the Calfornia Culinary Academy bc there was a buffet & we had discount... to my sadness, my palate hasn't developed to that sophisticated level... plus I'm bloating (man cramps are evil) bloated?, so I couldnt have had maximum enjoyment. & then I got cheap prom shoes, & when I tried them on with my dress, the train worked properly, so I have to teach myself not to step on it so much... but I got all sad cause I thought of prom & prom makes me depressed for personal reasons... speaking of personal reasons...

I was thinking of having a combined blog w/the boyfriend... cause I dont want this site to be like a dedication to him & us & our one dimensional lives together (ahem, Luana, sound familiar? [no im not saying guna does this but she knows what im referring to]) yes so to avoid that... maybe me & him could share a blog cause we dont see each other & talk to each other that much seeing as he's like an hour away half of the week. But then I'm wondering my belief that he would actually update the thing & whatnot...

so yes today I did jae & sean a favor & yeah, jami always makes me feel the best when i do nice things for her... she makes me feel sooo appreciated... and sometimes that's all i need, is to feel appreciated... so I just wanted to say a big big THANK YOU to jami... she helped to bring up my depressing day a notch...

ohhhkae... bye!

Hey there everyone... so I'm quite tired of maintaing the whole yahoo site shindig... so here I am... and to distinguish myself from all the xangas out there, I'm taking a cue from my bestest frien in the universe CHA (when I find out how to link on this thing, I'll put the address up there)... & joining the blog spot...

Uhhmm... so I'm depressed lately. & bored. Usually, everyone else's blogs entertain me for the most part, but now I'm just bored... I'm giving my boyfriend all hell & issues over nothing... I'm not completely sure why... I mean I know why... bc I'm having issues... bc I'm thinking too much... & I'm wayyy too sensitive... maybe more later when I feel likeopening up again, cause I'm quite unpredictable & I never know what I need to say when I need to say it...

Okae! So maybe I should end with something happy... uhhm today my bf & I went to Balloons Plus to get our corsage, garter, & boutinir... yay I made him get glitter... excitement. & yes, Saturday is Paula's shindig... & I get to see Ed & Jason hopefullie cause I miss them incredibly much... & they have to babysit me that night cause I'm gonna be by my lonesome... & tomorrow! Tomorrow it's family bonding day with the eating and the shopping in San Francisco... & the visiting the future school... ohhh school... college shouldn't be this depressing where you know where you want to go & you get accepted there & they want you and send you orientation information and you know who your roommate is and everything... ohhh... perhaps i should start a fund. But then again, it'll be funn to be poor. So everyone says... uhhhm bye for now everyone thanks for the GRAND OPENING OF THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF JENGY!