Yo yo yo whatsup?? We'z about to get busay, and rock the CK off ya panties...

Sorry that "Bring it On " excerpt just jumped into my head. It's out now.

Blueberries aren't blue. When Violet what's her name turned into a blueberry in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", her dad even said, "Violet, you're turning violet!". Blueberries aren't blue. Whoever named them was obviously color blind to the extreme. BLUTOPIA IS SEXY! (Tricia, that one was for you! "Oy!")

Yay to all those who got my cards. It was really really helpful talking to Jami last night... it's nice to know that not giving in to the crowd and the flow or whatever is okay, & I'm not the only one who thinks so, even if I am the only one who actively practices it. (Did that make sense? That's okay. In my head it does.)

I want a chocolate chip cookie. Soft baked. Mrs. Fields, preferably, but many mall brands can suffice. I wonder if a granola bar with chocolate chips will cover my craving.

Things I want to eat but because of lack of funds and transportation cannot at the moment: lasagna, chow fun, Bankok Noodles, dim sum, fried calamari, chocolate croissants, chocolate chip cookies, blueberry waffles, Wendy's chicken nuggets, lobster, crab...

The list will go on.

Shit who the hell are these people that think they "know me"? You know where I work? With your mom! No seriously, I have a secretarial job now.

HAPPY 22 MONTH ANNIVERSARY MICHAEL! I want my leftovers now. =(

"YEAH! Got the... Holy Spirit! You should get on that train, it's a good one..." Italian Job rocks.

My paper must now get criticized by seventeen of my peers. GREAT.

I have a plan for eating now! I'm excited for crepes and ice cream. The soft frozen machine works! But there are no cones so I always have to carry it. Dammit. That'll be my reward after Written & Oral class... ice cream. =)

& yes, funnel cakes are the bomb dot com. HOLLER.

Stalkers are bad. Online stalkers are bad. I like it when those IMs from those teenagers with webcams come up and then Steph responds to them by iming them with " Shut up"

Note to online stalkers... shut up.

Stats class has made me feel SO MUCH better because of our solidarity against the travesty that is our state. I love living in San Francisco. Do you know why? I mean, besides the fact that dim sum & asian noodles are a MUNI ride away. Because over 80 percent of us voted against the recall. I'm not alone. You have NO IDEA how much that means to me.

I know, I sound like I'm politically crazy. But I've finally found something to be passionate about, besides my boyfriend, and that makes me feel... normal.

Last night the bf came over. We went out to Mel's Drive In, joked around about the evil that went on in our relationship most recently over apple pie a la mode, and left my leftovers @ the restaurant. Sadness. Then we went to the dorm & watched The Italian Job & part of The Lion King while I tried to study for my politics quiz. I adore that boy, do you understand... completely & utterly adore him.

OMG! So college has finally reached some sort of purpose to me... to expose me to new people... who introduce me to new things... which change my life FOREVER!!... Sean Slim has introduced me to the most sinful wonderful thing I've experienced in a long time... ooh... MMM... BLUTOPIA! (LOL). Yes, the new Jamba flavour smoothie makes me HELLA want waffles now. Or a muffin. You think you know but you have NO idea.

Okay I must now go write seven hundred words so I can go get CRITICIZED about it! YAY!!!!

The caramel used at the Hilltop Cafe @ Lone Mountain is homemade.

Our state will be screwed no matter what the results, honestly.

I have a bruise two inches above my right wrist. I don't know where it came from.

How come no one's saying anything about the ISSUES? Forget that there were any? Didn't know that there were any? You shouldn't vote if you're uninformed. I bet half of the people who are wooed by the star power don't even know a thing about prop 53 & prop 54. Didn't even know that there were propositions on the ballot too? Point taken.

If Arnold wins I'm going to become more depressed than I already am. Don't expect a positive blog for awhile, even though this past weekend was one of the best weekends I've had in awhile... it was better than I deserved.

Alright reasons for voting no on the recall...

if Arnold gets elected, how is he supposed to be doing his job about making all of those "changes" that he'll specify after he gets elected if he keeps getting accused of sexual harrassment??? That's not good for California... we need serious action and he's all saying that the people don't want to hear the figures of his plans to fix our problems bc we just want to hear that someone wants to change it all! We don't care how we change, you don't need to tell us that, just tell us that you will! ANYONE AND THEIR GROPER'S MOM can tell you that they'll change and then they won't say how... and we're supposed to trust it? Not with the scandals going on.

This sucks. This is BAD for CA. Can't you tell? I mean, the guy hasn't even been elected and already what's overpowering the REAL issues? This stupid scandal shit.

I hate being a politics major and then having people who know NOTHING but what the TV tells them about politics & they just ruin everything. That's why all of these assholes are voting for Arnold anyway... bc it's a name they know. Too bad it's NOT for politics. Shit. TAKE SOMETHING SERIOUSLY for once in your life. Your spoiled ass won't have to deal with it, but your parents who are paying taxes to put your ass through school will have to deal with it.

Seriously I never realized how spoiled people are until I got to college. It's disgusting, the way people throw around their money like it doesn't matter. People are DYING because of hunger everywhere. How can you be so close minded?

THATS why I want to go into politics. To change shit like that. You got money? Your ass should be paying more taxes than the middle class to take care of people. You think Arnold's going to take care of the people, the same people he turns down for autographs every day? It's disgusting.

The papers were right. We're all laughing about the ridiculousness of this 135 candidate gubanatorial race, but then we're the ones who are going to have to live with it afterwards.

The MINORITY of the people caused this recall of a governor who was elected by the MAJORITY of the population. A person with a MINORITY of the votes can WIN. How does this not seem wrong to some people?

From 1:30 AM to 3:30 AM I went through my personal hell. I'm still not better even tho you'd think I would be.

I really did overestimate the number of people who would care. Just kidding myself...

Thank you Luana... if it wasn't for you last night I would have done something I may or may not have regretted... so while things aren't better... they probably could be worse.

as a politics major am i fucking LOVING how everyone is all into voting and this governor shit only because of this damn recall... like they fucking know what the hell is going on and what's going wrong in this state and they're all so fucking susceptical to whatever the fucking tv says to think... shit... everything is WRONG and everyone is WRONG and everything's a JOKE but I'm the fucking biggest joke of all...

NO ONE CAN REACH ME SO DONT TRY

I have so many questions but I know that ever since one thirty this morning I don't have the right to ask them anymore. I'm at a complete loss.

So what happens now?

THERE IS NO HOPE IN ANYTHING ANYMORE. EVERYTHING'S A LIE. EVERYTHING HURTS. DON'T BELIEVE OR TRUST IN ANYTHING ANYMORE. I'M ALREADY DEAD INSIDE SO IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL...

I'm watching VH1, the new MTV for me (getting older, can't you tell), and JennB, I'm craving that naive teeange pre adolescent time phase where it was all pop and boy bands and pop princesses that you'd sing along to thinking that if you're young and cute you can make it... shit... I want to be naive like that again, without a damn care in the world... actually the only care I'd have is whether or not my VHS tape had enough room to videotape the next showing of TRL. I wish for that time. I crave it. I'm actually quite upset right now and being by myself (as I often find myself these days), this is my comfort and... what's the world... indulgence? No. I don't know. I don't care. Shit.

I'm not feeling well mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Things are definitely missing from my life. I think I'm telling myself that I'm more okay than I actually am because it's that whole psyching yourself out thing. Okay, I'm probably exaggerating, some days, shit, some hours are better than others, definitely. It's all about how you make it to be. But my mood swings and bipolarness are insane out of control. I can't even blame it on PMS anymore, cause that's just kidding fucking everyone. Shit.

I don't know what's wrong with me. A lot of things are wrong with me. No matter what anyone says I know for a fact that's true... that I'm pretty screwed up and there's no real reason for it but my own faults. What gives me the right to judge people so candidly as I do when I know that I'm not perfect, I'm so far from that word that it's fucking ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. No I'm not being ridiculous, that is what I am in all actuality.

I'm being very vague and very clear all at the same time... if that makes sense and if it doesn't then fuck it. I don't make sense, and these words are just a reflection of their author, obviously. Too much pain, all sorts of pain, I hate it. No relief in sight. No one can really say anything to me without me thinking that they're being fake, that they're just saying something... for my sake. No. Not true. Don't try.

The writing's on the wall. No more lying to myself... everyone can see right through me anyway.

Last week I woke up to my cell phone alarm. I realized I didn't charge it all night long like I usually do. The outlet is about eye level with me when I'm lying in bed & looking to my right. I pull the charger cord towards me so I can get the end of it to plug it into my phone. I pull the cord harder than I thought I could when I'm half awake & the square cube charger thing that plugs into the outlet comes at my head, hitting the right side of my temple.