bonjour.

i've been doing that thing where i'm not home between classes and i'm just around and walking around city hall repetitiously dealing with people who give me false information.

date day. =) went home overnight because my parents and i all work for the city of san francisco, apparently. so yes. they dropped me off in time for practice LSATs. my thinking went back and forth from thinking that I was finally getting used to the whole thing and just saying frock it, it's free, it doesn't matter anyway. i think the latter one when the words are all jumbled in my brain and it's hard to figure out. logic reasoning's a beeyotch.

then michael picked me up, fed me, beat me in racing @ the arcade that was funded by me because we were flippin early (michael style) for w&g, took me to the park, grocery shopped with me, and washed my dishes after i cooked for him (and basically imitated my mother by producing mass quantities). he called me lumpy (thank you jae & guna for DEFENDING him! and i thought we had a solidarity stance concerning our boyfriends' wrongs. altho i know u guys are right, it's just no funn admitting it) and we played cards until he went home to go feed his cat, who he abandoned at seven am.

i dont normally do these recap thingies. but today was a nice day, full of things that i enjoyed and wish to remember.

shit-take mushrooms, i forget... oh nm i remember. on thursday, one of my main themes was if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all. because complaining about people isn't nice, unless they're really really extarordinary. especially if they're just in passing and you're not likely to ever see them again, because that's a waste of time and energy. time & energy that could be spent...

well yeah i've been focusing on just getting better. ever since... i got time to focus on that. codeine is the bestest. whoot whoot for codein. but yeah today i just got caught up in enjoying myself that i didn't want to do practical wise things and just rest and waste time. so that's what i've been doing, resting and wasting time. but not really wasting bc i value this time, especially since it's become scarce since starting at the m.o.n.s. office.

( i just lost internet and regined it and a lot of post went away)

oh well.

hooray for rest. and codeine. and claymation. w&g makes me happy. and sleep. buenos noches mijas.

dude, i feel like ass. how sick is the flu shot supposed to make you?? i think i'm just making it worsed by being stressed and unhappy all the live long day. yes i said worsed. i didn't mean to say worsed, that's how out of it i am. no, really. my first day of work is tomorrow and at the interview, that was when i was beginning to get sick, because i kept coughing during the whole time he was talking and i felt so rude, but there i was, and now im actually working and i have to arrive to my dance class where i have to dance around and im wearing my professional clothes because i have to come straight from work. my mind is a mess right now. what calms me down, what destresses me? can't go shopping but i'm finally coming to terms with that budget thing. and if i feel like trekking downtown in the next few days, i'd better be willing to do it in the rain.

but yeah. that's it. unhappy and stressed and sick. and it's like, neverending.

halloween made me feel old. old and boring. would dressing up like a ho and calling it a costume and allowing myself to be groped on castro and getting all beligerent at my friend's house not make me feel old and boring, though? probably not. i just should have made caramel apples, that would have made me feel better. yeah like an old grandma.

there's this guy in one of my classes that looks like jamie mcmurray. WITH the piercing blue eyes. i blame this fixation on all of those adolescent years reading about the baby sitters club and adopting their idea of hot white guys. HA i can't believe i just admitted that. even this guy's name is what i used to think (and still do somewhat, for whatever reason) is the atypical hot white guy's name. AND he's a double major. it's ok. he'll be "the dream", along with a le creuset french oven and a kitchen aid deluxe stand mixer and basically everything in the tiffany catalogue and those hot ass charles david heels (which ones? does it matter, hello, it's charles david, it's the dream!). the dream is my term for the unattainable, the what i wish for in the future because there's no way it's happening now, and it's so out of my league because of cost or timing or those paul walker kind of blue eyes that it's just not going to happen. the dream. basically it's all looking and no touching. well, maybe a little on that le creuset french oven. have you SEEN those curves? =) le sigh.

talking about the dream has made me feel better. it's like window shopping but better. thanks. happy dia de los muertos. oops, i was supposed to go to church today, wasn't i? damn.

I'm stressed. I've been stressed for the whole of October, basically...

My head is just spinning.

I know... if I'm so busy... then why am I blogging? Because the best friend's on a cruise and the bf's watching Saw II, and the constant reading of pdf is taxing.

"What do they call it when everything intersects?"
"The Burmuda Triangle"

- Sleepless in Seattle

Jessica on Laguna Beach IS a very rude girl.

How come they make the Asian girl on Miss Seventeen seem so stupid? uh ohhh they're trying to cheat... underhanded underaged girls... uh ohhhh...

in so much suspense... ha! she got in trouble!

sorry. this is my stress reliever. it could be worse.

Taking a break from studying for my politics of american justice midterm. (note: grumpy mcgrumperson party of one. present. i have my reasons, though, but this entry will be whiny)

The flu shot leads to flu like symptoms. I have flu like symptoms and they suck big time. I hate it. Do you know how hard it is to study and be sick? You have that gross sick feeling and you're trying to understand why, WHY!, why Raskin thinks that the Supreme Court gives favor to corporate dominance and you have to evaluate criminal courts, police, and prisons in how active they are with social control... while you're hacking and having bloodshot eyes and phlegm is your pathetic friend who clings to you after you run and hide from it. And all the Vitamin Water in the world doesn't seem to curb it.

NO ONE wants to see Wallace and Grommit with me and there is nothing more that I'd rather do (nothing more that I'd rather do in these past few weeks that it's been out!!) than go see it. I wish I had the time to take a few hours off and go to the Metreon to go watch it. YES by myself because none of you will watch it with me!! Mike Hammerstein, are you happy that you've turned me into a Wallace and Grommit fan by making me study claymation in Art I, a class I didn't even want to take, but led me to make wonderful friends?!?

I want to eat EVERYTHING. And I am. Jami, I have one of our most favouritest foods in the world in my possession... BAGEL BITES. And they do nothing to curb my appetite right now. It's like second period cravings all hours of the day. Costco had organic alphabet cookies, four boxes for under four bucks... and they're oatmeal cinnamon & very vanilla, and I'm excited for them. YES I'm excited about cookies. That's what my life has been reduced to because no one wants to see W&G with me!

Sorry. I didn't realize what a downer I'd be right now. The book about Overruling Democracy, the one that half of my midterm will be based upon, makes me angry. This is the side effects. Sort of.

I wish I could RELAX. Desperate Housewives & Grey's Anatomy tonight. They help me relax. YES I got up early and went to church early just so I would have enough study time to allow those two hours to be midterm worry free. And it's been working. Some dumbass in the library is illiterate (why is he in the library then??) and goes through the emergency alarm doors. And this is in the atrium, where there's like zero talking and everyone's all quiet and there are these loudass alarms because the dumbass can't read that he's not supposed to go through those doors. Red letters are supposed to stand out, the two to four signs posted on the doors are there to prevent such an occurance. I am bitter.

Church was good today tho. The homily was especially notable... including the line that I would rather be sincerely hated than insincerely loved, because at least you would know where you stand. Holla at those Jesuits. Church and aerobics are things that I always have to really motivate myself to go to, but afterwards, I feel really really glad that I went.

And on that happy note... I must now determine what are the major impediments to achieving civil justice. Wish me luck.